Have been crying, i'm still awake and its 5:19am, last night didn't sleep till 7am ish.
I'm mentally exchausted.
I'm scared. I'm sick of my nights and having to carry a knife.
I want to try and kill myself again.
I don't know who to tell.
I cant get put in the ward, it will make me worse.
But I really want to succeed before Christmas this year.
I have no pills, maybe I act happy and get put back on the Quetiapine instead of Promethazine.
Quetiapine is easy to overdose on and I won't hallucinate like the last overdose so it won't give me away.
I just want to be dead.
I want to kill myself and get it over and done with.
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Before you comment, please bare in mind I do have alot going on. I have not mentioned a major part of me that relates to all my posts so please dont be nasty until your know me.